For now you can find most of my stuff over at woodburner. I doubt I'll be importing old posts here (except for possibly fic) but I'm going to attempt to crosspost from now on. Who knows how that's actually going to turn out, though...

Translated extra tip in which Battler is a megalomaniacal pervert who has no problems making highly inappropriate passes at his own aunts and anything else that has breasts! And in which Virgilia reveals herself as a BL fan (with rather weird tastes, if you ask me) and Ronove confirms that he does, in fact, want to get in Battler's pants! Spoilers for EP5 end/premise of EP6

Poor Battler. But you deserved it. Somebody better make sure to have a camcorder on hand for the "RonoBato".

Sora no Woto ep 1: I feel like Sora no Woto wants to be both K-ON! and Haibane Renmei at the same time. Which, I don't even know, okay.

That aside, it looks like it could be cute, but it's too slow for my tastes. I can usually only enjoy really slow-paced stories if they're extremely eerie, like Mushishi or Kino no Tabi.

The OP song: the first few bars had me going WHAT IS THIS IT IS SO FAMILIAR OH MY GOD and then the vocals started up and I was like "...why does this sound like Kalafina." Well, I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this. I just don't know how I managed not to know about this in advance.


Book of Bantorra continues to be absolutely incomprehensible yet strangely entertaining. I can't really get into it because the narrative is so all over the place - but after every episode I still want to watch the next one. Also, the lack of a real main character is simultaneously refreshing and jarring. The moment I start getting attached to anyone they disappear for several episodes.

Speaking of getting attached to characters, are Noloty and Enrique not the most adorable little things you have ever seen. THEY SHOW THEIR AFFECTION BY BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER. No really! I do not even mean this in the usual, "they pretend to hate each other but it's really just pig-tail pulling" way! THIS IS JUST HOW THEY EXPRESS THEIR OBVIOUS OTP-NESS ETERNAL FRIENDSHIP.



Noloty: LET'S SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER K? :D:D:D

Enrique: ......w-what

That poor boy never had a chance. (Well, his "dominant trait is stupidity", after all.)

Also, EPISODE 12. JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS THE HOTTEST THING. Fffffuck. I didn't know anyone even ever HAD casual sex in TV anime.

( spoilerific hotness )

I WAS ALREADY THIS CLOSE TO SHIPPING IT

AND THEN THE SHOW WENT AND MADE IT CANON

...IN THE PAST

GODDAMNIT SHOW THIS ISN'T FUNNY

MAKE THEM HAVE AMAZINGLY MINDBLOWINGLY HOT PSYCHOTIC FIGHT SEX AGAIN OR I SHALL BE VERY PUT OUT

I would just like to note that I bought Scott Westerfeld's Leviathan without even realizing that one of the main characters is a crossdressing girl.

Who's a surly, snarky tomboy trying to pass as a boy so she can join the air force.

O-oh my god SCORE.

Okay, has anyone else ever had this? My mom always made it while I was growing up, and she always called it a "ranch burger", although it in no way involves burgers. It consists of:

- Bread, toasted or grilled (gluten free in my case obvsly)
- Hot dogs, fried till they have that black stuff on 'em, and then sliced in half along the length
- Mayonnaise and/or ranch dressing
- Lettuce
- Tomato slices, salted and peppered

You slather your bread with the mayo and/or dressing and lay however many hotdog halves you want down with the lettuce and tomato. I want to know where the hell this came from but I cannot find anything about this sandwich on the internet. Predictably, when I google for "ranch burger hot dog" I just find stuff about burgers with ranch dressing... and hot dogs.

Is this just some weird family thing?

Sale time! Incense again. Shipping $3.00 to the US; if you're anywhere else, tell me what you want and where you are, and I'll find out how much it would cost to ship. My ebay feedback is here.

( Cut to spare your f-pages; Shoyeido Kyonishiki and Nokiba, and Kyukyodo Shirohato... )

Also, I've still got tarot reading slots open!

This is quite possibly the greatest thing in the history of ever.




eta: OH MY GOD, Maria's character song is PURE GENIUS. (Warning: translator stuck a repeating image of Rosa smacking Maria at the end of this, but well, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, IT'S ROSA.)



I am going to be going "uu uu uu uu uu uu uu uu~" for HOURS.

What really happened in Turn of the Golden Witch?

While attending to the family conference late in the evening, Rosa came by the kitchen and mentioned to Gohda that there was going to be a Halloween party for Maria in the chapel the next day. Thinking this was a wonderful idea, Gohda decided to make some special treats for the occasion, but because he was distracted he accidentally reached for the box marked "Tiny Food Bombs" instead of the sugar. He gave some of the treats to Rosa, who took them to her siblings. They all went to the chapel to check out the party since they'd probably be too tired in the morning, when the tiny food bombs exploded and killed everyone but Rosa, who wasn't hungry.

Later, Gohda was hanging out and he heard Jessica having an asthma attack. Rushing upstairs, he found Kanon with her and reached for her inhaler, but as he swung it over to give it to her she tripped and he accidentally impaled her in the back with it. Kanon assumed he was trying to kill her and they struggled, and Gohda accidentally pushed Kanon out the window. Realizing he was going to get in so much trouble for this, he quietly locked the window, planted a stake in Jessica's wound, and walked off whistling.

While bored, Gohda decided to show off a new knife trick he learned to Nanjo and Kumasawa. Disaster occurred. Genji suggested they blame Kanon for it so nobody would find out, and dump the bodies somewhere.

Later in the evening, George and Shannon refused to believe Gohda's claim that he was capable of juggling three Stakes of Purgatory at the same time. Upset, Gohda offered to prove it to them in Natsuhi's room. Tragically, he was not as proficient as he thought he was.

Genji called Battler upstairs to tell him everything. Battler couldn't accept this ridiculous scenario, and declared that it was more likely that a witch did it.

Beatrice is the true culprit...

...behind Endless Eight!

She didn't want her show to have any competition this season, so what better way to do that than deal with the most likely threat to the show's popularity?

And there's no way it can be mere coincidence that she knew ahead of time to have Battler counter that with Endless Nine.

* It all makes sense now. I commend you.
* Photographic proof!◊
* Either this, or because Haruhi is the one who killed everybody.

god I love this fandom


ANYWAY does anyone know where to get the sprites for these games? I especially desire The Many Faces of BeatrollBeatrice.

I just have one thing to say about the spoilers I've been seeing for Umineko 6.







IDEK ANYMORE. I JUST. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM BEING TROLLED SO HARD jesus god my head hurts.

incidentally it would be the greatest thing ever if that face was actually in the game and just suddenly popped up as you were reading along, and by "greatest thing ever" I mean FUCKING JESUS SHITTING TIT BALLS I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN



you're welcome

Leave it to Ursula Vernon to make an epically hilarious post out of rage-inducing idiocy - "Stuff I Should Not Do In The Morning: Read articles about how men's rights groups are getting pissed because women's rights groups are going to Haiti to offer aid to vulnerable women."

My favorite bits:

"Leaving aside that apparently the notion of "aiding women" has been conflated in these people's minds as 'lesbian paratroopers with pink machine guns will be kicking away the hands of dying men while women are showered with maxi-pads, chocolate, and aromatherapy candles'..."

Also:

"The outrage of a gentlemen at "Men's News Daily" that apparently men and boys didn't deserve "hygiene supplies" gave me one of the only laughs in this whole business. Oh, honey....If you really really want to distribute tampons to the poor tampon-less men of Haiti, I will buy you a case out of my own pocket."

My least favorite part? Learning that rape was not made a criminal act in Haiti until 2005. 2005. Holy crap nuggets on a cracker, I can't even...



RELATEDLY!

I am offering a bundle of custom-made incense over on help_haiti - my thread is here.

(Btw, that was supposed to say "e.g.", not "i.e."; now it kind of sounds like I'm saying you have to choose between those three things instead of giving those three things as an example, s-sob.)

I just finished playing Umineko 5. ...HOW COULD IT STOP THERE OGOD GIVE ME 6 NOW AUGGGGGHHHHHH BEATRICEEEEE ;____________;

- Re: Battler becoming the Endless Sorcerer, I had been spoiled for it but it was NO LESS AWESOME for me having been spoiled. SO EPIC. And then Ronove shows up and calls him "your majesty" and I am like, aw yeah, shit is 'bout to go DOWN.

- D-did I mention that I really like Ronove? Fandom, where is my Ronove/Battler/Beatrice sandwich? I know you are not going to make me do this myself, right?

- I like how this game made absolutely no sense and stopped before it actually EXPLAINED ANYTHING AT ALL, and by "like" I mean l;dakfj;alksdjf;l DAMNIT RYUUKISHI07. Congratulations, you managed to make all of the past games completely baffling given all this new information.

- Surprised (and rather pleased) to discover that my impression of Natsuhi as being not very bright was completely incorrect. I still can't really like her, but I no longer dislike her either, and this game managed to make her into an intelligent, three dimensional, and highly interesting person. And I loved she just took charge in the wake of her husband's massive fail, despite having given off the impression of being a flighty flibbertigibbet previously.

- And on that note, have I mentioned how great the women in this series are?

- Otoh, their apparent efforts at making me find Kinzo likable fail. He was often hilarious in this game, but seriously, it is not possible to like such a repulsively sexist jackass and I still cannot fathom Natsuhi's adoration of him. Actually, it's even more incomprehensible now. I mean seriously, how did that happen? How do you go from "This man has in essence kidnapped me and forced me to marry his son" to adoring the guy as a father figure? I mean, what?

- Also surprised to find out that my long-standing assumption that Lambda and Bern harbor repressed lesbian lust for each other was false.

...Because it's not exactly repressed.

Bern: I'll have to give you a full body massage later in a hot bath, with marshmallows and konpeito. ...Until your all your skin comes off.
Lambda: Oooh, I'll hold you to that promise. *slurp*

I swear to god, I am not making this up. Holy shit, those two are tripping balls. And all I've got to say is, Damn, Bern, where do you get off sneering at Beatrice's sexual tastes?

- Dlanor. Just. Dlanor. SHE'S AWESOME.

- This series? Is the the most meta-tastic story I have ever encountered. I mean, it's not like it wasn't already meta-tastic before, but... Dlanor fights with Knox's Decalogue, seriously? Seriously?

Also, upon looking that up, I notice that no one ever mentioned Knox's 5th in the game. "No Chinaman must figure into the story." W-what. No, really, what. I uh guess I can see why the game conveniently ignored that one.

- Am I the only one who's really worried Beatrice is going to turn out to be Battler's mom or something? At this point I can't help but think that we're supposed to wonder that, and if it doesn't turn out to be a red herring, then it's the most EPIC TROLLING EVER.

- Beatriceeeee. ;______; Battler, you better hurry up and revive her, or I shall be very put out. :<

eta: Oh! And does anyone know if those extra tips are translated anywhere? I need that Valentines Day/White Day thing. NEED.

Oh my god this comic is amazing.

Amazing.

Bayou

It's kind of like Alice in Wonderland, only if Alice in Wonderland were a Southern Gothic with a mostly black cast and if it were 293847923847923874932x creepier. Also, the main character is like the most awesome little girl EVER.

I am only on chapter 7, but the awesome was too overwhelming to wait.

eta: NOES I RAN OUT OF PAGES. I NEED MORE. MORE!

Augh, I hate this whole not posting thing. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I DON'T EXIST. I gotta get back into the rhythm.

Anxiety is way out of hand, my hair is falling out (in tufts! JESUS CHRIST, my hair has gotten so thin and limp all in the space of about a month!), and I just know going to the doctor is going to result in yet another "uuuh we dunno" and they'll send me home without any other leads to follow. Otoh, I have an actual solid physical symptom presenting itself in an observable way? Maybe that will put a fire under their asses?

Also I have to go for an MRI in Feb. to make sure my spine is still okay. Uneasy. EXTREMELY UNEASY. The thought that it might not be scares the hell out of me, because as much hell as my last surgery was, I am sure, as perpetually ill as I am now, that it would be 10 times worse if I had to do it again.

...

Um, anyway. I need some money for incense making supplies. Therefore! Tarot reading sale. 5 slots open, $6.50 a pop, done through email. Comment and I'll give you my paypal email. You can send me your query with your payment or separately to my main email (branewurms at suddenlink dot net).

General info: I usually use a star-shaped, 8 card spread that I modified to meet my own tendency of reading towards a "problem solving" angle, but you can ask just about anything and I can find or modify a layout for it. (Well, you can't ask what the winning lottery number is going to be, har har.) Please note that it may take up to a week for me to get back to you (usually it's less, but I'm a slow reader and tend to ruminate forever and a day so I like to play it safe).

1. taken
2.
3.
4.
5.

...

Also, just to get a general idea here, who might be interested in purchasing incense from me if I make a largish batch? Each bundle would likely be 15-20 sticks, around 4" long, and I'd charge between 4 and 6 dollars a bundle. The scent will be very frankincense-y, with sandalwood and cedar, spice, and labdanum - a very bright and warm scent. They will probably not be packaged in any fancy way since I'm still struggling to find feasible packaging options.

Poking head out after five days of vegging on the couch. Seriously, body, seriously. This is excessive.

So anyway, I had this dream just before I woke up today that there was this shadow box display on a wall somewhere, and it had my entire fourth grade class in it - as in the whole school's fourth grade (which wasn't very big, mind you). It was alive in the way of paintings and photos in Harry Potter. I marveled at one of the teachers giving another teacher a shoulder rub, and at the realistic-looking food they were all eating.

I wondered what the food would taste like, so I climbed in and started sampling it. It tasted edible, but dry and cardboard-ish; none of the picture people seemed to notice it wasn't very good. I recall worrying that since the people weren't "real", that the food wasn't "real" either, and thus might be made of substances inedible for humans and might make me sick. Also, some of the food was very bizarre for no apparent reason, like a cake made to look like an open, bloody mouth, with a white glaze drizzled over it to look like drool. (A real Cakewrecks candidate if I ever saw one, if only dream!cakes qualified.)

For some reason it never occurred to me that a younger me might be somewhere in the box. Very odd, in reality that's probably the first thing I'd think of, not the food, for chrissake.

...

A much more hilarious dream I had a couple of weeks ago and never had time to blog:

I woke up in the middle of the night in my bedroom, which was not my actual bedroom in reality but a ritzy room with three huge windows that went all the way to the floor. For some reason the blinds were open, and there was a group of college kids walking up by the windows, staring at me.

I was annoyed by this and didn't want them looking at me, so I got down on the floor hoping they wouldn't see me there. But they did, walking right up to the window and looking down at me on the floor and making fun of me for no apparent reason. I was rather miffed and so taken aback I didn't know how to react. Then they started doing something with my windows, sawing out the frames and replacing them with very... strange wooden objects that made my windows bulge out in odd ways and rattle.

I don't even know, okay, whatever it was, it wasn't physically possible, but the important part is, somehow, when they finally left, I realized this was ALL BREAK'S FAULT.

Yes, it was all a fictional character's fault. SO! While muttering indignantly to Dave, I called Break up on my cellphone. I got an answering machine message, and after the beep I started ranting about THESE DAMN KIDS THAT WON'T GET OFF MY LAWN and DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE THEY WERE TO ME and WHAT ON EARTH HAVE THEY DONE TO MY WINDOWS and WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE UP TO. And then on the other end of the line I heard a "hmm."

DAMNIT BREAK I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING BEING AN ANSWERING MACHINE YOU BETTER TALK TO ME THIS INSTANT I said.

Then he cheerfully admitted his deception in a sugary-sweet tone and wondered why I was so upset, didn't his people make my windows look much nicer, surely this was an improvement!

Cue me flipping my shit at him because NO GODDAMNIT WHAT IS THIS SHIT ALL OVER MY WINDOWS and THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME IN MY OWN BEDROOM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU and I EXPECT SOME COMPENSATION FOR THIS YOU ASSHOLE.

Right about then I woke up and stared at the ceiling for a while until it sank in what I'd just been dreaming, and then I went "oh my god WHAT." Man, I don't even know.

(At least my subconscious can keep a random!Break in character, I guess?)

Oh, and in case you wondered what became of the incense poo (because I'm sure you were all just dying to know):



The little box on the left is what Dave made to put them in. Our printer decided to run out of yellow on the last box. RAGE.

I packaged them in plain brown boxes with red and green rafia bows.



Aren't they cute? ♥ Dave's sisters seemed to be impressed. I'm pleased with my little X-mas project. (Though not with my printer. :E)



Our tree! My god, the presents look ridiculous, it looks like we're rich or something. (And it looks like a tissue factory had a catastrophic explosion there in the back.) Man, my whole theory of "buy lots of inexpensive things because people have more fun opening more presents"? DOWNSIDE! The wrapping supplies end up costing almost as much as the presents! Not to mention wrapping that many things was exhausting.

On the other hand, I am awesome at finding deals. I got some fairly nice things for everyone and I think the only person I spent more than 15 bucks on was my mom. (Minus candy-making and wrapping supplies, of course.) I got a 20 dollar scone mix for literally the cost of sales tax! (Although I somehow still felt like I was getting ripped off, because seriously? 20 dollars? For a little bag of scone mix? SERIOUSLY? It called itself "extra-special". All I can say is, you damn well better be "extra-special".)

I AM SO EXHAUSTED. Next year: ALL ONLINE SHOPPING. I swear to God.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having/has had a nice holiday season!

I approve of this macro.

Anyway you guys, seriously, oh my god, I can barely remember my own name right now. I keep finding emails and comments I've forgotten to reply to. If I've failed to answer something you've asked or something, please to be smacking me so I remember, REALLY.

I've been trying to find time to work on those prompts but I've only gotten a little bit done. Augh. So much for writing an hour a day, too. I guess I'll have to mostly do them after X-mas. (Damn good thing I decided not to sign up for Yuletide.)

I don't remember last Christmas being this hard, srsly. I go out for an hour, maybe two, come back home and have to recover for the rest of the day. Will I even be able to move next year? :|

MY INCENSE POO

IT BURNS

THANK GOD

AND! It actually smells kind of amazing this time! I mean I'm sure there are many faults an expert could find with it, but this is only my third try at stick incense, guys! AND YET IT SMELLS OF NOM. \:D/

VICTOLY

(It smells, for the curious, less of the snickerdoodles now, and more of the spicy frankincense-and-cedar I was originally going for, but it's kind of like spicy frank-and-cedar covered in vanilla ice cream. Apparently? Just a little benzoin goes a long, LOOOONG way. Note to self: go easy on the benzoin, srsly.)

((Also, find a way of extruding incense that does not involve exerting 9832479287 tons of pressure on a little plastic syringe. Had to enlist Dave's help and even he had a little trouble with the damn thing.))

I go and post about lack of notifications and then proceed to not check my comments for the rest of the day, GO ME. Uh let's get on that...

Oh, and thank you for the snowflake cookies, guys! ♥ I was going to spam a whole bunch of people with them but I didn't realize there was a time limit. :<

And as LJ is up to notification-eating shenanigans again, please note that if you've commented with something you really want me to see, you might have to email me and point me at it. I think I'm getting all my notifications, just hours and hours after the comment originally gets posted - but I'm not sure.

(Srsly LJ, paid account here, GIVE ME MY NOTIFICATIONS.)

I held this up to Dave and said "smell it!"* His expression was worth more than 1000 words. I should put a little red hat on it and call it Mr. Hankey, the Incense Poo.

I hope everything's ground small enough - the sifter let through some awfully large chunks of spikenard, and by then I was so sick of trying to get this shitty coffee grinder to give me actual powder I just shrugged and went with it.

It smells amazing - like snickerdoodles, which is not what I was going for, but whatever, "essence of snickerdoodle" would make a good X-mas gift - but whether it'll smell like anything more than vaguely spicy smoke once they're done remains to be seen. (Well, whether they'll actually burn remains to be seen. I was guessing pretty wildly with how much laha to add.)

*Spoiler! Not actually poo!

A fellow reader at the Olfactory Rescue Service was generous enough to send me samples of a couple of high end aloeswood incenses - Tennendo's Enkuu (fourth from the bottom) and Shunkodo's Aioi no Matsu (bottom of the page). They both employ a sweet/spicy dynamic to rather different ends.

The Enkuu is unusual (to me, at least) on account of the aloeswood in the mix being both distinctly bitter and sweet - usually it seems like one or the other of the qualities predominates, but I get both from this one. It's a nice contrast, the intensity of the bitter resinous notes tempered by a smooth sweetness. This is paired with a prominent cassia/cinnamon note. The overall effect is very dark, sensual and warm; it gives me a distinct color impression of black with gold light slicing through.

The Aioi no Matsu, on the other hand, has kyara in it, and it's a very smooth and sweet aloeswood that gives off a delicate coolness. The spices (getting a lot of clove from this one) enhance the feeling. Like most Shunkodos, this gives off a feeling of restraint and elegance - it's quite subtle (although not so subtle I have difficulties smelling it, like I do with some Shunkodos). This one gives me a tactile sensation of white silk and a cool spring breeze with rain in the air.

Actually, while I like the Enkuu quite a bit, I think I'm falling tragically in love with the Aioi no Matsu. ("Tragically" because, well, it's unaffordable for a peasant like me.) They're expensive, but if you can afford it, you're definitely getting your money's worth. High end aloeswoods really are an experience unlike anything else in the world.


Another fellow reader was generous enough to send me samples of Kunmeido's Goikuin Daiunkoh. (Scroll down to the bottom of the page to see it. Although it's listed under Baieido, that's an error. When it was discovered to actually be a Kunmeido I decided I had to try it, since Kunmeido is probably my favorite incense company overall.)

Well, I think this one's already among my favorite everyday incenses! Despite having the scent of all the signature spices of the brand, it's really a bit of a departure - it's much sweeter than the rest of their US line, sweeter even than Onkun Koh. The more fiery spices are toned down to a background warmth, and a sort of syrupy, maple-like note (probably the fenugreek?) that exists in the background of all of their scents is in the forefront here, over top of a very soft, almost powdery sandalwood. There might be a touch of aloeswood in the mix, too, but I'm not sure.

The overall effect is muted yellow, very warm and cheerful, soothing yet refreshing in a way that keeps it from being sedating. Quite different from the usual solemn blues and greys of the line. I imagine it would be good appetite stimulant, too, because that sweet syrupy note really makes my mouth water.

These are very cost efficient at $8.65 for 50, 14", extra-thick sticks per roll. They really pack a punch, so I don't think most people are going to burn whole stick at a time, so you can probably at least double or triple the stick count.

Many thanks to Steve and Janet for these samples!