look closely at all make-for-fun raisinlions

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RAY BRADBURY IS ACTUALLY AN EVIL MASTERMIND

  • Jun. 15th, 2011 at 6:42 AM
branewurms: (Mushishi - what)
So the other day I dreamed that I engaged in an epic battle with Ray effing Bradbury to save my friends.

He had kidnapped them! With magic! Because they had read his books, he managed to put them under some magical hypnosis and compel them to crawl down this twisty, narrow tunnel into his UNDERGROUND LAIR. ...Which was a cozy library where he was just chillin' in a wheelchair by the fireplace with a comfy blanket over his legs.

So anyway, I crawled down after them and challenged Mr. Bradbury! And okay, so the battle wasn't really all that epic, it was more a low-key sort of magical battle of wills thing, utterly lacking in fireballs and lightning bolts, BUT IT WAS STILL AWESOME. And I beat him!

So then, as we took our leave, we stole a bunch of his books - his books, the ones he had written - each taking an armful. My two friends crawled out before me, and Mr. Bradbury called after me, saying, "You know, I'm just going to get a hold over them again if they keep reading my books!"

Well, I thought this was kind of presumptuous of him, and I didn't want him to get too full of himself, so I said, "How do you know we're planning to read them?"

"What else are you going to do with them?!" he laughed.

He had me there. Annoyed, I muttered, "Yeah, yeah, whatever," and crawled out. (Perhaps I should have told him we were going to burn them. Give him a nice apoplexy!)

Once out on the street again, my two friends and I got into a car. The friend sitting in the seat next to me opened up a book and started reading. I reached over and slammed it shut. "You idiot!" I said. "At least wait until we've got some distance between him and us, or he'll just have you right back down there!"

"Oh, right..." she said vacantly, as if she'd been so intent on reading that that thought had never even occurred to her.

I head-wheeled, realizing that this was going to be a never-ending problem.

Conclusion: Take care when reading Ray Bradbury, for he is an evil mastermind who will take over your brain.

Mar. 8th, 2011

  • 9:20 PM
branewurms: (Avatar: Legend of Korra)
- So this morning I totally dreamed that [livejournal.com profile] bb_shousetsu was a host club in addition to a BL mag. There was a decorative golden cage (JUST DECORATIVE OKAY) with a pretty boy space case (seriously, he was not even in Earth's orbit) lounging inside on cushions. There were dead-tree versions of the mag stacked up around the outside of the cage, and he was browsing through one of them with a confused and intensely focused expression.

I just. Don't even know, okay.


- KORRA!



omg. *_*


- So like, it's International Women's Day or something. Badass.

@tinytempest: For #internationalwomensday, rec some stories & novels by or about women that showcase how awesome women are. #femalefictionrec

Seeing as I could list approximately ELEVENTY BAJILLION titles that I think EVERYONE SHOULD READ NO REALLY GDI READ IT NOW, and that would be counterproductive since everyone would be all, tl;dr, I'm going to make a list of the very first 15 that pop into my head to avoid the crushing guilt of leaving out some eminently worthy book.

...Needless to say, my list will pretty much be SFF only. B/c I uh. Rarely read anything else?

In no particular order:

The Orphan's Tales, Catherynne Valente

Midnight Robber, Nalo Hopkinson

The Etched City, KJ Bishop

Steam Powered: Lesbian Steampunk Stories, by various authors, ed. by JoSelle Vanderhooft

Leviathan series, Scott Westerfeld

Half World, Hiromi Goto

Redemption in Indigo, Karen Lord

Bayou (graphic novel series), Jeremy Love

Skip Beat (manga series), Yoshiki Nakamura

Ooku (manga series), Fumi Yoshinaga

The Shadow Speaker, Nnedi Okorafor

White is for Witching, Helen Oyeyemi

The Privilege of the Sword, Ellen Kushner

The Intuitionist, Colson Whitehead

Liar, Justine Larbalestier

The Alchemy of Stone, Ekaterina Sedia

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, NK Jemisin


...wait that was 17. And gdi I am already thinking of others. I didn't even include anything more than 15 years old! TOO MUCH AWESOME EVERYWHERE, CAN'T KEEP UP.

(Oh, and uh, it goes w/o saying some of the above has triggery content. Anyone wants warnings for something, feel free to ask, but be forewarned that I'm horrible at remembering specific instances of such things.)

MORE LADY RECS IN THE COMMENTS, GO!

Dec. 18th, 2010

  • 1:56 PM
branewurms: (Mushishi - what)
Weird dream w/the Leverage team in a post-apocalyptic scenario, but all that was really going on was Sophie trying to finagle her way into a posh hotel room. L-lol why, brain. (She finally got one, but inexplicably, there were rotting root vegetables of some sort in the bathtub.)
branewurms: (Mushishi - what)
So this kind of hilarious thing happened, right. At least, I found it kind of hilarious, but I have a questionable sense of humor.

I woke up this morning from a dream inexplicably involving Eric, Sookie, Bill, and D (as in Vampire Hunter D), and there was this secret group of some kind of super-powerful, Japanese supernatural being moving in on, I don't know, Vampire Land's territory? Somebody's territory, anyway. Only when the Japanese supernatural beings showed up, they were all white. And I don't mean white-skinned Japanese people (or white-skinned Japanese monsters or whatever), I mean white people. I - well, for a very loose value of "I" - I wasn't in the dream, these were just my thoughts as I was watching - anyway, I was baffled by this when they showed up, as it didn't make any sense, and it started making me feel so uncomfortable that I got really distracted from the proceedings. And yet there was this eye-rolly feeling of resignation and total lack of surprise, too.


Dave: "...Wait, you were complaining about the whitewashed casting... in your dream?"

Me: "...yes?"

Dave: "Okay, you only have yourself to blame for that."


WHITEWASHING, Y'ALL. EVEN OUR DREAMS ARE NOT SAFE.
branewurms: (Umineko - OH DESIRE)
I have come to the conclusion that although I am slightly more attracted to men than women, the range of what I find attractive in men is way, way narrower than what I find attractive in women. I mean, it's not like I'm attracted to all women or anything, but there's no one type of woman that does it for me. Of course I have an especial thing for the slender, hard bifauxnen type, but beyond that, thin women, thick women, tall, short, fair, dark, sultry, boyish, it just... doesn't really matter about specifics.

Sorry guys, I only like select specimens among you. :P


Incidentally, this morning I was having these crazy, vivid but disjointed dreamlets that were all sort of loosely linked together; they involved a lot of lesbian sex between several pairs of people and NAKED ERIC (from True Blood) and I just...

my subconscious is very confused okay
branewurms: (Umineko - OH DESIRE)
So at this point I have started no less than 4 kink_bingo fics. Have I finished any of them? Of course not. This becomes especially funny when you realize the first one I actually started only needs like, a few paragraphs more. Attention span. I haz it.

Also, one of the stories is not even in the same line as the others. God, this story is so weird, you guys, I can't even. I don't know, I had this dream, okay, this fucked-up Break/Gil dream, and it was all because of that anonymity square, and I had no choice but to write it, because for some reason fucked-up Break/Gil porn is about the easiest and most enjoyable thing to write in the whole entire world and it just started pouring out onto the page.

No, I do not understand this. It does no good to question it. I just write the shit, man.

(For the interested - currently on my plate: Beth/Gwynn, The Etched City, tattoos/tattooing; Beatrice/Battler, Umineko, rough sex; Eclipse/Raenef, Demon Diary, washing/cleaning; and from out in left field, Break/Gil, Pandora Hearts, anonymity.)

...

I had this bizarre, bizarre dream yesterday. It had what were essentially clones of Moko and Kyoko from Skip Beat. It was magnificently slashy, but. Well. It took place in this supremely sinister and strange supernatural world which I don't even know how to describe in words because it makes no sense to the waking mind.

Apparently my brain thinks that Kyoko and Moko should have hair-raising, girl-lovey adventures in some kind of magnificently creepy alternate dimension. )

Yeah, this would pretty much be the strangest, most inexplicable AU in the history of ever.

Random things

  • Jun. 16th, 2010 at 7:48 AM
branewurms: (Umineko - ahaha.wav)
- I finished reading The Alchemy of Stone yesterday morning and it somehow triggered a dream about an automaton. (Although a different automaton than the main character of said book.)

I don't remember much of it, but I recall that she had many masks for faces, and the one that she preferred the most was an elaborately painted, beautiful woman's face, with a stylized boar's snout in the place of a mouth and nose. There was a book cover that depicted a medallion on a long chain, and the medallion itself was this face.

- ADVENTURES IN BAD BL. Watched some more of Uraboku, despite being profoundly unimpressed by the first two episodes. (I blame Sakurai Takahiro. Stupid sexy Sakurai Takahiro.)

Well, it's still just as bad, but the action picks up and it's more in the hilaribad territory rather than the just plain bad. Also the animation quality improved somewhat.

There are bad guys in this show called mid-villains, you guys. I am not even kidding.



Well, son, I guess it's good you know your place in this narrative, but should you really look so happy about it?

(This becomes 10x funnier when you realize that the protagonist's guard dog/love interest is an "Opast", which translates to "Final Boss".)

Plus there's this guy that shows up and starts constantly wondering exactly WHY the protagonist keeps running off on his own, is he dumb as a sack of hammers, and hey, Mr. Seme, why do you keep leaving him by himself, are you ALSO dumb as a sack of hammers? SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE. He's supposed to be tsundere but it's more like he's the audience's voice of reason.

Also, guys, guys. There is. A black pikachu. Named Sodom.



Sodom is. He's. The demonic seme's familiar.

I

I can't

dying, brb

I'm alive! Sort of. I think?

  • Dec. 30th, 2009 at 5:10 PM
branewurms: (CoLC - HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING)
Poking head out after five days of vegging on the couch. Seriously, body, seriously. This is excessive.

So anyway, I had this dream just before I woke up today that there was this shadow box display on a wall somewhere, and it had my entire fourth grade class in it - as in the whole school's fourth grade (which wasn't very big, mind you). It was alive in the way of paintings and photos in Harry Potter. I marveled at one of the teachers giving another teacher a shoulder rub, and at the realistic-looking food they were all eating.

I wondered what the food would taste like, so I climbed in and started sampling it. It tasted edible, but dry and cardboard-ish; none of the picture people seemed to notice it wasn't very good. I recall worrying that since the people weren't "real", that the food wasn't "real" either, and thus might be made of substances inedible for humans and might make me sick. Also, some of the food was very bizarre for no apparent reason, like a cake made to look like an open, bloody mouth, with a white glaze drizzled over it to look like drool. (A real Cakewrecks candidate if I ever saw one, if only dream!cakes qualified.)

For some reason it never occurred to me that a younger me might be somewhere in the box. Very odd, in reality that's probably the first thing I'd think of, not the food, for chrissake.

...

A much more hilarious dream I had a couple of weeks ago and never had time to blog:

I woke up in the middle of the night in my bedroom, which was not my actual bedroom in reality but a ritzy room with three huge windows that went all the way to the floor. For some reason the blinds were open, and there was a group of college kids walking up by the windows, staring at me.

I was annoyed by this and didn't want them looking at me, so I got down on the floor hoping they wouldn't see me there. But they did, walking right up to the window and looking down at me on the floor and making fun of me for no apparent reason. I was rather miffed and so taken aback I didn't know how to react. Then they started doing something with my windows, sawing out the frames and replacing them with very... strange wooden objects that made my windows bulge out in odd ways and rattle.

I don't even know, okay, whatever it was, it wasn't physically possible, but the important part is, somehow, when they finally left, I realized this was ALL BREAK'S FAULT.

Yes, it was all a fictional character's fault. SO! While muttering indignantly to Dave, I called Break up on my cellphone. I got an answering machine message, and after the beep I started ranting about THESE DAMN KIDS THAT WON'T GET OFF MY LAWN and DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE THEY WERE TO ME and WHAT ON EARTH HAVE THEY DONE TO MY WINDOWS and WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE UP TO. And then on the other end of the line I heard a "hmm."

DAMNIT BREAK I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING BEING AN ANSWERING MACHINE YOU BETTER TALK TO ME THIS INSTANT I said.

Then he cheerfully admitted his deception in a sugary-sweet tone and wondered why I was so upset, didn't his people make my windows look much nicer, surely this was an improvement!

Cue me flipping my shit at him because NO GODDAMNIT WHAT IS THIS SHIT ALL OVER MY WINDOWS and THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME IN MY OWN BEDROOM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU and I EXPECT SOME COMPENSATION FOR THIS YOU ASSHOLE.

Right about then I woke up and stared at the ceiling for a while until it sank in what I'd just been dreaming, and then I went "oh my god WHAT." Man, I don't even know.

(At least my subconscious can keep a random!Break in character, I guess?)