Two days ago, there was a catastrophe. I asked Dave to make coffee. He went to do so. He pushed the on button. I waited. Time passed. I waited some more.

Nothing.

Happened.

THIS IS TERRIBLE, said I. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO OH MY GOD IS THIS THE END I CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS JESUS CHRIST WHERE IS THE COFFEE GIVE ME THE COFFEE WHY IS IT NOT COMING OUT RIGHT NOW.

Dave sighed, put the kettle on the stove, and then proceeded to very slowly and painstakingly dribble hot water into the filter basket until we had a pot of coffee.

OH SWEET MERCY I said and proceeded to lick the carafe.*

On the downside, standing over a dead coffee maker dribbling hot water into it is not fun. On the upside, it works, and thus we have not had to do such a ghastly and unthinkable thing as to go without (shudder) for three whole days, and as of today, we have a nice shiny new coffee maker. And it was on sale! Yey.

*Okay, so maybe I didn't really lick the carafe. But I wanted to.