Poking head out after five days of vegging on the couch. Seriously, body, seriously. This is excessive.

So anyway, I had this dream just before I woke up today that there was this shadow box display on a wall somewhere, and it had my entire fourth grade class in it - as in the whole school's fourth grade (which wasn't very big, mind you). It was alive in the way of paintings and photos in Harry Potter. I marveled at one of the teachers giving another teacher a shoulder rub, and at the realistic-looking food they were all eating.

I wondered what the food would taste like, so I climbed in and started sampling it. It tasted edible, but dry and cardboard-ish; none of the picture people seemed to notice it wasn't very good. I recall worrying that since the people weren't "real", that the food wasn't "real" either, and thus might be made of substances inedible for humans and might make me sick. Also, some of the food was very bizarre for no apparent reason, like a cake made to look like an open, bloody mouth, with a white glaze drizzled over it to look like drool. (A real Cakewrecks candidate if I ever saw one, if only dream!cakes qualified.)

For some reason it never occurred to me that a younger me might be somewhere in the box. Very odd, in reality that's probably the first thing I'd think of, not the food, for chrissake.

...

A much more hilarious dream I had a couple of weeks ago and never had time to blog:

I woke up in the middle of the night in my bedroom, which was not my actual bedroom in reality but a ritzy room with three huge windows that went all the way to the floor. For some reason the blinds were open, and there was a group of college kids walking up by the windows, staring at me.

I was annoyed by this and didn't want them looking at me, so I got down on the floor hoping they wouldn't see me there. But they did, walking right up to the window and looking down at me on the floor and making fun of me for no apparent reason. I was rather miffed and so taken aback I didn't know how to react. Then they started doing something with my windows, sawing out the frames and replacing them with very... strange wooden objects that made my windows bulge out in odd ways and rattle.

I don't even know, okay, whatever it was, it wasn't physically possible, but the important part is, somehow, when they finally left, I realized this was ALL BREAK'S FAULT.

Yes, it was all a fictional character's fault. SO! While muttering indignantly to Dave, I called Break up on my cellphone. I got an answering machine message, and after the beep I started ranting about THESE DAMN KIDS THAT WON'T GET OFF MY LAWN and DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE THEY WERE TO ME and WHAT ON EARTH HAVE THEY DONE TO MY WINDOWS and WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE UP TO. And then on the other end of the line I heard a "hmm."

DAMNIT BREAK I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING BEING AN ANSWERING MACHINE YOU BETTER TALK TO ME THIS INSTANT I said.

Then he cheerfully admitted his deception in a sugary-sweet tone and wondered why I was so upset, didn't his people make my windows look much nicer, surely this was an improvement!

Cue me flipping my shit at him because NO GODDAMNIT WHAT IS THIS SHIT ALL OVER MY WINDOWS and THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME IN MY OWN BEDROOM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU and I EXPECT SOME COMPENSATION FOR THIS YOU ASSHOLE.

Right about then I woke up and stared at the ceiling for a while until it sank in what I'd just been dreaming, and then I went "oh my god WHAT." Man, I don't even know.

(At least my subconscious can keep a random!Break in character, I guess?)