Hi! You may know me as woodburner. Or hey, you may not. Anyway, this is a mostly open journal - subscribe/unsubscribe at will, no need to ask permission. :)

JOHN WATSON'S BLOG. IT EXISTS.

AS DOES SHERLOCK'S WEBSITE. Omgggg he's whining petulantly that no one is reading his posts and deleting things and FLOUNCING.

crying forever this is the best thing THE BEST THING

(There's also a terribly embarrassing blog for Molly and... a website for Connie Prince?!)

JOHN IS SUCH AN AWFUL WRITER. IT IS HILARIABLE. Adorarious?

- "Which is why Sherlock and I ended up, dressed as ninjas, fighting a comic book geek in Soho."

- John watches LOLCAT VIDEOS

- John's sister makes Insinuations about John/Sherlock

- John complains about SELF-CHECKOUT MACHINES.

- John and Sherlock marathon James Bond

al;ksdjf;lakj L:DKJF:L♥♥♥

So the other day I dreamed that I engaged in an epic battle with Ray effing Bradbury to save my friends.

He had kidnapped them! With magic! Because they had read his books, he managed to put them under some magical hypnosis and compel them to crawl down this twisty, narrow tunnel into his UNDERGROUND LAIR. ...Which was a cozy library where he was just chillin' in a wheelchair by the fireplace with a comfy blanket over his legs.

So anyway, I crawled down after them and challenged Mr. Bradbury! And okay, so the battle wasn't really all that epic, it was more a low-key sort of magical battle of wills thing, utterly lacking in fireballs and lightning bolts, BUT IT WAS STILL AWESOME. And I beat him!

So then, as we took our leave, we stole a bunch of his books - his books, the ones he had written - each taking an armful. My two friends crawled out before me, and Mr. Bradbury called after me, saying, "You know, I'm just going to get a hold over them again if they keep reading my books!"

Well, I thought this was kind of presumptuous of him, and I didn't want him to get too full of himself, so I said, "How do you know we're planning to read them?"

"What else are you going to do with them?!" he laughed.

He had me there. Annoyed, I muttered, "Yeah, yeah, whatever," and crawled out. (Perhaps I should have told him we were going to burn them. Give him a nice apoplexy!)

Once out on the street again, my two friends and I got into a car. The friend sitting in the seat next to me opened up a book and started reading. I reached over and slammed it shut. "You idiot!" I said. "At least wait until we've got some distance between him and us, or he'll just have you right back down there!"

"Oh, right..." she said vacantly, as if she'd been so intent on reading that that thought had never even occurred to her.

I head-wheeled, realizing that this was going to be a never-ending problem.

Conclusion: Take care when reading Ray Bradbury, for he is an evil mastermind who will take over your brain.

So here I am watching BOSS 2, right. (BTW, WHY DID YOU PEOPLE NOT TELL ME IT WAS ALREADY BROADCASTING.



YOU ARE ALL FIRED. okay not really but.)

Anyway, so here I am watching BOSS 2. And then during this kind of tense scene, I go, "Wow, that music sounds a lot like that one song from Fringe!" And then a few more moments pass, and I'm like, "Wait, no, that song ACTUALLY IS from Fringe."

(IT WAS VERY UNNERVING. I missed whole chunks of dialogue due to the weirdness of my Fringe intruding in on my BOSS.)

So like the huge nerd I am, I tracked down the soundtracks for Fringe, and discovered which song it was. ("A New Day in the Old Town," for the curious.) I even played them side by side, and the BOSS bgm isn't even redone with different instruments or anything - they just lifted the track directly from the soundtrack.

And then! While I was looking back through for the scene with the Fringe song! I realized that that one song that had sounded vaguely familiar to me the first time, but which I hadn't paid much attention to, was actually from the 2009 Sherlock Holmes movie!



I lawled. Now I'm wondering whether US shows/movies make a habit of licensing out their music to foriegn shows, or if J-dramas just make a habit of ripping background music from random sources. XD;;

(My verdict on BOSS 2, btw - aside from the random music - is that it's kind of missing some of the heart of the first season, but it's still a lot of fun.)

This episode. I just. I can't.

- So this morning I totally dreamed that bb_shousetsu was a host club in addition to a BL mag. There was a decorative golden cage (JUST DECORATIVE OKAY) with a pretty boy space case (seriously, he was not even in Earth's orbit) lounging inside on cushions. There were dead-tree versions of the mag stacked up around the outside of the cage, and he was browsing through one of them with a confused and intensely focused expression.

I just. Don't even know, okay.


- KORRA!



omg. *_*


- So like, it's International Women's Day or something. Badass.

@tinytempest: For #internationalwomensday, rec some stories & novels by or about women that showcase how awesome women are. #femalefictionrec

Seeing as I could list approximately ELEVENTY BAJILLION titles that I think EVERYONE SHOULD READ NO REALLY GDI READ IT NOW, and that would be counterproductive since everyone would be all, tl;dr, I'm going to make a list of the very first 15 that pop into my head to avoid the crushing guilt of leaving out some eminently worthy book.

...Needless to say, my list will pretty much be SFF only. B/c I uh. Rarely read anything else?

In no particular order:

The Orphan's Tales, Catherynne Valente

Midnight Robber, Nalo Hopkinson

The Etched City, KJ Bishop

Steam Powered: Lesbian Steampunk Stories, by various authors, ed. by JoSelle Vanderhooft

Leviathan series, Scott Westerfeld

Half World, Hiromi Goto

Redemption in Indigo, Karen Lord

Bayou (graphic novel series), Jeremy Love

Skip Beat (manga series), Yoshiki Nakamura

Ooku (manga series), Fumi Yoshinaga

The Shadow Speaker, Nnedi Okorafor

White is for Witching, Helen Oyeyemi

The Privilege of the Sword, Ellen Kushner

The Intuitionist, Colson Whitehead

Liar, Justine Larbalestier

The Alchemy of Stone, Ekaterina Sedia

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, NK Jemisin


...wait that was 17. And gdi I am already thinking of others. I didn't even include anything more than 15 years old! TOO MUCH AWESOME EVERYWHERE, CAN'T KEEP UP.

(Oh, and uh, it goes w/o saying some of the above has triggery content. Anyone wants warnings for something, feel free to ask, but be forewarned that I'm horrible at remembering specific instances of such things.)

MORE LADY RECS IN THE COMMENTS, GO!

Weird dream w/the Leverage team in a post-apocalyptic scenario, but all that was really going on was Sophie trying to finagle her way into a posh hotel room. L-lol why, brain. (She finally got one, but inexplicably, there were rotting root vegetables of some sort in the bathtub.)

HAHHHHHHHH jfc, you guys, this is the greatest commercial I have ever seen. (Ganked from here.)

So Zoie Palmer (Dr. Lauren) has taken over Lost Girl's twitter account for the day and then this gem came out:



ahhh lolling forever how on earth did she manage to get through a whole season of that show before learning this word

T-this is a show that canonically refers to Bo's love interests as "Teams" o-omg.

Ganked from here. I am shocked that this exists! ...It is amazing.



(Warning for brief bare boobs)

- Re: Lost Girl ep 8: OMG. OMG. OMG.

( Spoilerific screecaps, NSFW. OMG!!! )

O. M. G. THANK YOU SHOW FOR LISTENING TO MY PRAYERS.

I hope it's not too long with the angst before they get back to... that.

(Incidentally, the sex scene with Dyson at the beginning renewed my curiosity as to WHAT THE HELL DON'T THEY ALLOW ON CANADIAN TV???)


- This movie. This movie, you guys. YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE. (This movie had green dream doors. Universal unconscious, you are creepy and awesome.)




- Watched the first 7 eps of Undercovers, upon discovering it existed, which I only did because people were wailing about it being canceled. Woe! For it is adorable. Fluffy caper show with bickering married couple spies! And the leads are POC! WHY.


- Watched the first two episodes of this kdrama full of puppies and kittens and and all that is adorable in the world and also a perpetually drunk Jang Geun Suk giving a girl a cabbage bouquet. It is called Mary Stayed Out All Night/Marry Me Mary and I think my insides may have rotted out. You should all go look at darkeyedwolf's picspams of the first two episodes because they are hysterical.

WHY. WHY ARE SHAPE-SHIFTING SOLDIERS FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE STEALING FROZEN HEADS. :||||



THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING

"Just for an example, look closely at all make-for-fun rainsinlions."

this is so beautiful, oh my god

(image ganked from here.)

So this kind of hilarious thing happened, right. At least, I found it kind of hilarious, but I have a questionable sense of humor.

I woke up this morning from a dream inexplicably involving Eric, Sookie, Bill, and D (as in Vampire Hunter D), and there was this secret group of some kind of super-powerful, Japanese supernatural being moving in on, I don't know, Vampire Land's territory? Somebody's territory, anyway. Only when the Japanese supernatural beings showed up, they were all white. And I don't mean white-skinned Japanese people (or white-skinned Japanese monsters or whatever), I mean white people. I - well, for a very loose value of "I" - I wasn't in the dream, these were just my thoughts as I was watching - anyway, I was baffled by this when they showed up, as it didn't make any sense, and it started making me feel so uncomfortable that I got really distracted from the proceedings. And yet there was this eye-rolly feeling of resignation and total lack of surprise, too.


Dave: "...Wait, you were complaining about the whitewashed casting... in your dream?"

Me: "...yes?"

Dave: "Okay, you only have yourself to blame for that."


WHITEWASHING, Y'ALL. EVEN OUR DREAMS ARE NOT SAFE.

OH MY GOD THE SOCIAL TERRORIST OH MY GOD THE HORROR

Do not ever just "drop by". CALL FIRST. Never, EVER, EVERRRRR show up at my door wanting to hang out without calling first, or I will probably begin to hate you very quickly. My house is my safe place! My shining bubble of peace! The place where I do not have to be seen or heard or see or hear! CONTROL OVER THE SAFE PLACE IS SACRED. DO NOT VIOLATE THE SAFE PLACE.

I don't understand why anyone does this! It boggles my mind! That there could be people out there that think showing up at someone's home unannounced is an acceptable thing to do! I assume it is because they, too, have people show up at their house unannounced and it doesn't bother them at all! WHICH MEANS IT'S LIKE THEY ARE OF AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SPECIES. THEY DO NOT THINK LIKE EARTH PEOPLE. This is why I can't bear 80% of extroverts.

Unless your arm is off and you need me to take you to the hospital or to call 911, or you have had sudden dire finance implosion and have no way of contacting me whatsoever and you want to let me know that, you do not "drop by". The only way this is even vaguely acceptable is if you left something at my house or you need to drop something off, but you should at least call on the way if it's in any way possible, or have let me know that you'll be by sometime today, or SOMETHING.

(Also omg "the trap" ahaha, her bird-like head-swivel! HAVE YOU TRIED THE VEGAN SOYBEAN SHAKE YOU CANNOT ESCAPEEEEE)

I have come to the conclusion that although I am slightly more attracted to men than women, the range of what I find attractive in men is way, way narrower than what I find attractive in women. I mean, it's not like I'm attracted to all women or anything, but there's no one type of woman that does it for me. Of course I have an especial thing for the slender, hard bifauxnen type, but beyond that, thin women, thick women, tall, short, fair, dark, sultry, boyish, it just... doesn't really matter about specifics.

Sorry guys, I only like select specimens among you. :P


Incidentally, this morning I was having these crazy, vivid but disjointed dreamlets that were all sort of loosely linked together; they involved a lot of lesbian sex between several pairs of people and NAKED ERIC (from True Blood) and I just...

my subconscious is very confused okay

DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY

AHAHAHAHAHAHA GASPPPPP I CAN'T BREATHE IS THIS SERIOUSLY FOR REAL

http://community.livejournal.com/kuroshitsuji/501744.html

KUROSHITSUJI FANDOM: YOU HAVE BEEN TROLLED

BARRING ENDLESS EIGHT THIS IS THE MOST MAGNIFICENT TROLLING OF A FANDOM BY ITS OWN CREATORS I HAVE EVER SEEN

For those of you who don't have access to the comm and don't want it:

( spoilers for Kuroshitsuji anime season 2 )

HAH omg, this is the most random, inexplicable ad ever. (Click for the full size.)



Text in the little box:

Cheese O.K.'d by the Food Administration! Indeed it is: all dairy products are urged in place of other foods.

Cheese can be served in many ways as the principle dish of a meal: the familiar rarebit is only one of them.

In all of them the flavor is heightened and enriched by cooking. The same applies to tobacco - flavor is much improved by cooking. Try Lucky Strike Cigarette - it's toasted.

Exactly what is the message here?! "CHEESE! IT'S SO FUCKING TASTY! AND SAFE TO EAT! THEREFORE SMOKE OUR CIGARETTES."

How is this a logical progression of ideas.

So at this point I have started no less than 4 kink_bingo fics. Have I finished any of them? Of course not. This becomes especially funny when you realize the first one I actually started only needs like, a few paragraphs more. Attention span. I haz it.

Also, one of the stories is not even in the same line as the others. God, this story is so weird, you guys, I can't even. I don't know, I had this dream, okay, this fucked-up Break/Gil dream, and it was all because of that anonymity square, and I had no choice but to write it, because for some reason fucked-up Break/Gil porn is about the easiest and most enjoyable thing to write in the whole entire world and it just started pouring out onto the page.

No, I do not understand this. It does no good to question it. I just write the shit, man.

(For the interested - currently on my plate: Beth/Gwynn, The Etched City, tattoos/tattooing; Beatrice/Battler, Umineko, rough sex; Eclipse/Raenef, Demon Diary, washing/cleaning; and from out in left field, Break/Gil, Pandora Hearts, anonymity.)

...

I had this bizarre, bizarre dream yesterday. It had what were essentially clones of Moko and Kyoko from Skip Beat. It was magnificently slashy, but. Well. It took place in this supremely sinister and strange supernatural world which I don't even know how to describe in words because it makes no sense to the waking mind.

( Apparently my brain thinks that Kyoko and Moko should have hair-raising, girl-lovey adventures in some kind of magnificently creepy alternate dimension. )

Yeah, this would pretty much be the strangest, most inexplicable AU in the history of ever.