Hi! You may know me as woodburner. Or hey, you may not. Anyway, this is a mostly open journal - subscribe/unsubscribe at will, no need to ask permission. :)

I'm offering fairy tale flash fiction here and incense here.

So it occurs to me belatedly that I could totally write female!Pied Piper/female!Mad Hatter (the latter w/sexy tailcoat and top hat omg!) for kink_bingo. It's not like fairy tales and Alice don't count as fandoms, and I can be as AU as I want to be, right? I have wanted to see this pairing for a loooong time. *_*

I am pretty much drawing a blank on ideas, though. Anyone else got any? (My card is here(LJ)|here(DW). Warning for brief musing on a possible noncon pairing.)

So I finished that Utena/Anthy fic. Which was the last fic I started. The last fic I started was the first fic I finished. Shut up, okay.

I was ridiculously torn on what to do with the glasses. Have her take them off? If her hair is down, she has to take them off. But does that fit thematically? Maybe I just shouldn't mention them at all? She didn't wear any in the movie, after all. Something this small can cause me hours and hours of agonizing, people.

This fic. I have no explanation for this thing. What was that quote from Nanae Chrono in the Vassalord vol 1 omake? I think it was, "As you can see, I do whatever I want." Yeah. That.

God, this header is ugly.


Title: {end of the}
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena (TV)/Adolescence of Utena (movie)
Pairing: Utena/Anthy
Rating: I have no idea how to rate this. PG-13-ish?
Wordcount: ~1050
Warnings: (skip) Same as for the series/movie - implications of incest/abuse, underage sexuality, etc.
Prompt/summary: Utena and Anthy. Akio's car. An empty space that shouldn't be. For the "vehicular" kink_bingo square. Combines elements and characterization from the TV series and the movie and probably makes less sense than either.

>> The rows of streetlamps flicker, on-off, on-off, illuminating the nothing within.

So at this point I have started no less than 4 kink_bingo fics. Have I finished any of them? Of course not. This becomes especially funny when you realize the first one I actually started only needs like, a few paragraphs more. Attention span. I haz it.

Also, one of the stories is not even in the same line as the others. God, this story is so weird, you guys, I can't even. I don't know, I had this dream, okay, this fucked-up Break/Gil dream, and it was all because of that anonymity square, and I had no choice but to write it, because for some reason fucked-up Break/Gil porn is about the easiest and most enjoyable thing to write in the whole entire world and it just started pouring out onto the page.

No, I do not understand this. It does no good to question it. I just write the shit, man.

(For the interested - currently on my plate: Beth/Gwynn, The Etched City, tattoos/tattooing; Beatrice/Battler, Umineko, rough sex; Eclipse/Raenef, Demon Diary, washing/cleaning; and from out in left field, Break/Gil, Pandora Hearts, anonymity.)

...

I had this bizarre, bizarre dream yesterday. It had what were essentially clones of Moko and Kyoko from Skip Beat. It was magnificently slashy, but. Well. It took place in this supremely sinister and strange supernatural world which I don't even know how to describe in words because it makes no sense to the waking mind.

( Apparently my brain thinks that Kyoko and Moko should have hair-raising, girl-lovey adventures in some kind of magnificently creepy alternate dimension. )

Yeah, this would pretty much be the strangest, most inexplicable AU in the history of ever.

HAY GUYS! You remember those prompts I took back at X-mas? That I failed to write ANYTHING for thanks to raging neuroses and an excellent gift for procrastination? No? Well surprisingly, I DO, ahaha... ha.

ANYWAY, back then both alankria and eisen asked for something with Raule, and eisen specifically asked for "Raule and a heart in a box", iirc. While I was working on kink_bingo TEC fic, I suddenly had inspiration for that one. (Not that this is kinky. Disembodied hearts don't really do it for me. Sexually, I mean. Okay, I'm just going to stop this parenthetical aside before it gets any more creepy.)

So!

Fandom: The Etched City (KJ Bishop)
Prompt: Raule and a heart in a box
Rating: idek, but there's a disembodied heart?
Summary: Raule receives a strange gift from an unnamed sender.

>> The thing ticked with each beat like a clock.

Yes, I know it's been a million years in internet time already and I'm horribly late posting this, so sue me.

- bookshop/bookshop: I'm done explaining why fanfic is okay. Contains an impressively extensive list of professional works that are, in some way, shape, or form, fanfic.

- thefourthvine: [Rant]: Professional Writers vs. The People Who Love Their Work, Round Umpty-Snout - "If they would just say, 'It feels wrong. I don't have a reason - it just feels wrong,' I still wouldn't agree, but at least I wouldn't have to question their maturity. It's when they try to justify their feeling that they start to sound like a seven-year-old explaining why his cousin shouldn't be allowed to come near his toys."

- Catherynne Valente/yuki_onna: Fan the Flames

Quote from the above link:

So much ire spent over something that ultimately helps books, keeps the conversation going past the long tail of marketing, keeps them alive and loved--I've never understood it. Quashing fan activity is not only self-sabotaging, but unkind.

[...]

Reading is an active sport, and we create books together, in the space between my words and your heart. I put those people into the world, into the sphere of collective imagination. How can I possibly begrduge others playing with them? The whole point of publishing them was for others to love them."

- There's also a comment on the above post from Ursula Vernon (ursulav) that rings very true - it seems like so much of the argument against fanfic consists of, "You should be writing REAL fiction instead of playing around!" Putting aside the claim that fanfic is inherently lesser than original fiction (which I disagree with), even if we were to accept fanfic's inherent inferiority, hello, missing the point by a mile, maybe? It's like some pro-authors have never even considered the idea that writing can sometimes be just for fun. And I think that's really, really sad.

PSA to those of you who keep listing off the supposed reasons we might write fanfic (because as we all know, it is such an unfathomable mystery): Why do fanficcers write fanfic? Generally speaking, because it is fun. Because we love the characters, the world, the story, and we enjoy spending time immersed in it, wondering how he might have been feeling in that scene, what would she have done if this had happened instead, what happened to these characters after the last page. Because we love this narrative, and playing in it is fun. Remember what that's like? Having fun? Now, having solved this mystery for you, kindly stop making up all sorts of silly reasons why people might write fanfic.

- And, to close this meandering post of links: Poppy Z Brite (docbrite) retracts her (his? never quite clear on what pronouns he/she prefers) former anti-fanfic stance: Fanfic: At the End of the Day

If anyone else has related links they found interesting, feel free to share them in the comments. (And uh, if anyone's done any kind of link roundup, point me in that direction?)

So it's been uh, over a week since I last posted, OOPS?

During this time I got myself an account over at the newly-opened Archive of Our Own. GUYS. GUYS. This is basically the fanfic archive that everyone has been saying they wanted, but that didn't exist anywhere. Only it's even better.

The simple, easy-to-use, blog-like text entry form with limited html, with the rich text mode alternative! The lack of restriction on content! The tagging system! The mind-boggling organizational abilities! The automatic processing of new fandoms (and by "automatic" I mean "somebody looks at your fandom tag and if it's a genuine new fandom makes a section for it"), so that there's no need to request a new section for your fandom in the archive! THE LOVELY, ATTRACTIVE LAYOUT. Has there ever been a fanfic archive that actually looked nice? I am not aware of one!

My account is here, and I have uploaded the majority of my fic. I'm not sure if I'll bother uploading the few I haven't yet; they're the ones that I feel less happy with. But idk.

You can sign up here to request an invite - I got my invite the very next day after I signed up, despite it estimating that it would take until Nov 22, but I don't know if they're still going out that fast. It's in open beta and thus a bit buggy, and they make no guarantees about stability, but I'm having so much fun. *_*

FYI, You can also volunteer to be a tag wrangler, which means you help streamline tags so that a) all tags are unique b) two tags that mean the same thing ("MS" and "Medicine Seller", for instance) are associated with each other and amount to being the same tag. I have not volunteered due to massive amounts of intimidation, but I am told that it is not very hard and that there are lots of people ready to help you and that you can volunteer for just one or two fandoms, if you like. To my understanding, you don't have to have an account yet to volunteer, and you might will definitely get an account faster if you do.

THIS IS THE SHINIEST THING EVER, YOU GUYS.

---

In other news, mininowrimo = thoroughly derailed, as I have been hit by a stint of crippling anxiety. I intend to still try and get as far as I can, but the last couple of days I have managed one or two sentences a day. Literally. One or two sentences. OTZ.

I'd say I need a benzo, but that would just make me too drowsy to write.

---

Btw, don't forget that you can leave fanfic prompts for me here! You know you wanna.

For various reasons, I have decided that I'd better not sign up for Yuletide this year, especially considering how much trouble I'm having with mininowrimo. But this makes me kind of sad! Especially considering how someone other than me nominated The Etched City this year.

So therefore! If anyone would like to leave prompts here, I'll try and post a few little ficlets throughout December.

Applicable series:

- The Etched City
- Mononoke
- Claymore
- Pandora Hearts
- Vassalord
- Zombie Loan
- Fairy Tales (as in the traditional ones)
- any of my original stories
- and you can try me on any fandom you know I'm into, but the above are the ones I'm most likely to be able to write for

Any request from smut to gen is fine, and although crossovers are less likely to get written on account of them being harder, feel free to request them. Okay go!

Title: Mutual Exchange
Fandom: Pandora Hearts
Pairing: Gil/Break
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Takes place maybe two or three years before Oz returns from the Abyss. Gil and Break have an... arrangement.
WARNING: Neither safe nor sane (although on the tame side, as unsafe, insane sex goes), but it is consensual. (Although there are a couple of places that are a bit dubious.) Also I am a horrible person and this is nasty and depressing.

>> 'Isn't it obvious?' says Break. 'I'm making an offer. Another mutual exchange.'


Okay so, I had so much fun writing this. It's 5400 words of PWP. For a pairing I don't even ship. I never write fanfic this long! And I never actually enjoy writing! And it is nasty and depressing and I was all "weeeeeeee!"

IDEK, GUYS.

I also don't know why they have an obsession with strangling each other, but as kaura_nighthawk pointed out, that's probably the part that actually makes sense. XD;

...

SO! I guess I should do another porn_tree challenge soon. I was supposed to do one in July but got distracted. Hmm.

In the meantime, how about give me Gil prompts! Anything with Gil, gen, in a pairing, porny, whatever. (There are some pairings I'm pretty unlikely to write - Vincent/Gil, for instance - but you're welcome to try me with anything.)

I was going to post on the oh my god awesome of Pandora Hearts 18 (Lottie, scream,) but I am simply too tired for coherence. ...Not that I would have been coherent anyway. And not that there are more than a handful of people who care. Um. Whatever, it'll wait until morning. At which point there will probably be a sub. Which will hopefully not change my opinion of the episode because ffff I came.

In the meantime, here, have OT3 crack.

Title: The Worst Idea in the History of Ever
Fandom: Pandora Hearts
Pairing: Alice/Oz/Gil
Rating: R-ish
Summary: Let us assume that two or three years have gone by and the three are still together. Let us assume that Oz's mysterious powers of persuasion are put to extremely unwise ends. We have ourselves a failpie in the making.

>> The funny thing was, Oz hadn't even been serious.

Um. I was trying to delete the private version of this post that I had posted earlier because I was adding a little at the time as I did other things, and instead deleted the public one. Well, at least I only deleted one comment? OOPS.

---

A List of Things:

- Okay, so, Japan, this is what I want from you: a manga/anime with a bad-ass, sexy lady-boss of a criminal organization (ala Benika of Kurenai or Balalaika of Black Lagoon) who has an unquestioningly loyal lady NINJA BUTLER who is dark and cold and stoic, + tons of subtext. Is this really so hard? It doesn't even have to be explicitly girl-love! Just give me the goddamn lady ninja butler, okay. Why does this not already exist, why.

I, I need a lady ninja butler. In a crisp suit. With a cravat. Serving tea and bashing people's heads in. Being all cold and emotionless until something dire happens involving lady-boss and her stony veneer cracks and she becomes DISTRAUGHT and ANGRY and unbearably hot. Ffffnggg please give me this I beg of you.


- l-lol UDDUP ch. 69. Could we maybe have the ladies' motivational angst occasionally relate to something other than childbearing and child-rearing? I mean, you know, ladies sometimes want other things out of their lives. Shocking, I know.


- Re: Melancholy of Haruhi S2 ep 3: lol Koizumi, you will never not be gay.






- Pandora Hearts ep 14! FLAILING FOREVER BRB.

So, as usual, they left out some details that irritated me. I was okay with them leaving out Vincent playing with the corpses, because really, is it any surprise they weren't willing to show a little boy playing with intestines and stabbing out the eyes of corpses on TV. I was irritated that they left out Raven passing out into Jack's arms, but that was mainly just my fangirl talking. (Come on, that was slkf;jals adorable.)

But what really annoyed me was a much tinier omission; Raven's hurt/shocked expression when Oz is talking about how important Alice is to him. Instead he just gives this vaguely surprised sounding, "Oz..." I mean, that might be a tiny thing, but I felt like that expression was important! It really told you a lot about what was going on in Raven's head! It tells you beyond any doubt that his anger at Alice is about more than just protecting Oz! There's the angle that he probably wants to be that special to Oz, and the realization that he can't protect Oz in this situation because Oz isn't going to let him, and if he can't protect Oz, then what's he supposed to do? And also probably the realization that if he does anything to get rid of Alice at this point, Oz is probably going to hate him. And maybe I'm nitpicking here but I just feel like it was... important, okay.

But EVEN SO, this episode. Nearly made me explode. O god.

Yuki Kajiura, why is your music so gorgeous? And Break, why is your sadomasochism so appealing? And Daisuke Ono, why is your voice so irresistible? And Jack, why -



Okay, you're right, no need to ask. It's Jack.

Next week! Oz goes nuts! I AM SO STOKED.


- I wrote things! Gasp. For the PH kink meme.

Title: The Drunken Cliche Fic of Ridiculous Length
Fandom: Pandora Hearts
Pairing: Oz/Raven
Rating: NC-17 (for sexual content)
Comments: Quite possibly contains as many cliches as can fit into one single fic.

>> 'Gil, stop, there's no fire! You can't take off your clothes here!'


Title: Gunplay
Fandom: Pandora Hearts
Pairing: Oz/Raven
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Contains flagrant molestation mishandling of a gun.

>> Boys liked guns, he reasoned, but wasn't this a little excessive?

Ffff. So instead of filling other people's prompts like a reasonable person, I got a ridiculous branewurm from one of my own prompts and had to write it right away.

Title: Big Bad Red Riding Hood
Fandom: Pandora Hearts
Pairing: Lottie/Oz
Rating: PG-13
Comments: Oh dear god I'm going to hell.

>> Little Red Riding Hood (is a wolf)

Right. Now let me get down to to actually filling some prompts.

So I... I took matters into my own hands...

The Pandora Hearts Kink(-ish) Meme

DUR HUR HUR

Rather than a true kink meme, it's anything goes, from gen to nasty weirdo requests.

The gas alarm started going off again. I can't deal with this right now. The sound of that thing just. My nerves can't take it. Acid just boiled right up in my stomach.

Christ, people, when you come to fix a gas leak, you fucking fix it. Gas leaks are SERIOUS BUSINESS, okay. You do not half-ass that kind of job.

...

Anyway, I randomly wrote this. Pandora Hearts, ~700 words. I am totally asking to get jossed on the first part.

Title: Breaking Point
Fandom: Pandora Hearts
Rating: PG/PG-13
Pairing: Raven/Oz-ish, but no more so than the actual manga

>> It hadn't mattered what he'd had to do, if it could help him save Oz; but he'd thought killing would be so much harder.

So the GI doc thinks I probably have gastroparesis for some godforsaken reason, meaning my stomach muscles have suddenly decided to be even lazier than I am. It seems a reasonable theory. I suppose I should be glad my case isn't worse than it is, since apparently it can get really really bad. However, all I can think is "doesn't this piece of shit body have enough wrong with it already?"

I have never been a glass-half-full type of person...

I go for an ultrasound on Tues. to rule out gallbladder dysfunction. (There was talk of the possibility of doing a HIDA scan if nothing showed up, but I don't know if they actually plan to or not...) I cannot eat or drink after midnight on Mon. Considering that I get nauseated if I don't put something plain in my stomach every couple of hours (one symptom that doesn't seem to fit the gastroparesis diagnosis) I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to do this. Also considering I am ridiculously thirsty all the time. (Which is nothing new; I've always been like that.) Seriously, I wake up in the middle of the night needing water every. single. night. I do not go to bed without a glass of water beside me. This is going to suck.

...

In other news! Somebody did fanart for my Alice/Raven fanfic. *sparkles*

I am trying to write Break/Raven now. (Why yes, I do love making Raven suffer, why do you ask?) It is not going so well. Mostly because it is difficult for me to imagine Raven not shooting Break in the fucking head if he tried anything, u-um.

...

eta: Right after I posted this I just heard that we've had the first confirmed case of swine flu in our county. ZOMG!!!11eleventy

Two short PH fics! First one was written for the Porn Battle going on on Dreamwidth.

Title: Nostalgia (Prompt: "Different")
Pairing: Raven/Oz
Rating: R-ish
Comment: Spoilers if you haven't read past ch. 7, but that pretty much goes for any Raven/Oz fic...

>>They are thirteen years old.


Title: How to Tame a Raven
Pairing: Alice/Raven (yes, you read that right, don't judge me)
Rating: PG

>>'I already said it, didn't I?' she said, smirking. 'You don't have a choice.'

---

So yesterday there was this big storm. The sky turned green. For about 10 minutes before it hit, there was this... noise. This terrifying noise like nothing I've ever heard before. It sounded sort of like a jet was passing over, but it just... never... stopped. I went outside and it was loud enough to make the ground rumble a little. A dude walking by on the street saw me and yelled, "Have you ever heard a sound like that?!"

Seriously, it made my hair stand on end. I wondered if it was a tornado but I couldn't see one anywhere. Does anyone know what phenomenon created that freaky sound?

Last couple of fics for porn_tree. I'm going to close it in an hour or two and update the master list soon thereafter.

Pairing: Raven/Oz (Pandora Hearts)
Prompt: "Protecting the master is supposed to be my job!"
Rating: G
Comments: From Raven's pov, therefore full of ridiculous uncontrollable woobie angst.

>> "If you don't rely on me, what use am I?"


Pairing: Haruka/Youko (Tactics)
Rating: R-ish
Comment: Het, in MY Tactics? Idek, okay.

>> "Um," said Youko. "Oops?"

---

Re: Hellsing Ultimate ep 5: Look, all I'm sayin' is, after that opening, I have about a bajillion more reasons now to never want to get stuck in Alucard's head.

MY BRAIN. IT IS SHATTERED.

So far I've written (only D:) two stories for porn tree, but hopefully I'll manage to write a couple more. The two I've done!

Series: Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler
Pairing: Lau/Madam Red/Ranmao
Rating: R-ish

( 'We're all friends here, aren't we?' said Lau, his lips curling into a smile. )


---


Series: Pandora Hearts
Pairing: Raven/Oz
Prompt: "'Body.' Oz hadn't realized just how much his friend had grown, until he caught sight of him naked."
Rating: PG-13-ish

( 'Um,' said Gilbert, as he watched the boy's eyes grow huge in his head. )