Hi! You may know me as woodburner. Or hey, you may not. Anyway, this is a mostly open journal - subscribe/unsubscribe at will, no need to ask permission. :)

So I just finished watching True Blood S4 and I'm actually KIND OF MAD, lol. Idek you guys, I was pretty fucking pissed about ( spoiler ), but at least I saw that coming from a mile away, and I could have gotten past it. (And the results of that may be... uh, interesting, to boot.) But ( spoiler ). WHAT THE FUCK. THAT WAS SO FUCKING RANDOM. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN FUCKING DO THAT. IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE. GODDAMN.

Fuck you, True Blood writers. No srsly, fuck you. I've mostly been merely hilaritized by all your shock-factor camp writing, which is the reason I've watched the show to this point, but you've taken this shit too far. This was just completely random and pointless. Fuck.

(And I notice the characters you just ( spoiler ) Don't think I don't see what you did there.)

Idek if I want to watch the next season. I'm curious as to what happens to Lafayette, but lord knows they're just going to make him as miserable as possible, so I'm not sure there's any point.

So... the True Blood S3 Finale...

I guess this means that everyone in this mofo is officially COMPLETELY NUTCAKES??? I mean seriously, when Tara's shaping up to be the sanest, most stable member of your cast, you're dealing with some serious crazy.

(Well. I guess Pam seems pretty level-headed, even if she is rather blood-thirsty and murderous.)

- I like how not only was Bill originally up to what I was suspecting he was up to, IT WAS EVEN WORSE. I knew from the incident of Uncle wossname that this could not be going anywhere good, but GOOD LORD.

- "You a witch. 8| You a witch who's a nurse. Who's a dude." LOL

- Eric being all, GODRIC TOLD ME TO FORGIVE HIM, BRING HIM IN! And then... burying him in concrete while covered in silver. Oh, Eric. Honey.

- Eric walking around covered in concrete = I WILL NEVER STOP LAUGHING

- Is it just me or do the effects in this show continue to get cheesier and cheesier?

- Alcide, whoa there boy, you barely know her? You're gonna make me think you're up to no good too. :|

- I still wanna see Sookie top Eric. I have no shame.

- Also, show, look, you give us outright het softcore all the time, can we get a little homohomolovin'? No, I don't think that bit with Talbot and youknowwho counts, although that was pretty awesome in its own right, I admit.

- SOOKIE OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I CAN'T EVEN. OH MY GOD.

- I am gonna be frank here and say that I hope the Queen srsly smacks a bitch. If the Queen dies I will be Displeased.


Finally, and this is of the utmost urgency: I need a youtube clip of Sookie's maniacal laughter LIKE BURNING. O.m.g.

So this kind of hilarious thing happened, right. At least, I found it kind of hilarious, but I have a questionable sense of humor.

I woke up this morning from a dream inexplicably involving Eric, Sookie, Bill, and D (as in Vampire Hunter D), and there was this secret group of some kind of super-powerful, Japanese supernatural being moving in on, I don't know, Vampire Land's territory? Somebody's territory, anyway. Only when the Japanese supernatural beings showed up, they were all white. And I don't mean white-skinned Japanese people (or white-skinned Japanese monsters or whatever), I mean white people. I - well, for a very loose value of "I" - I wasn't in the dream, these were just my thoughts as I was watching - anyway, I was baffled by this when they showed up, as it didn't make any sense, and it started making me feel so uncomfortable that I got really distracted from the proceedings. And yet there was this eye-rolly feeling of resignation and total lack of surprise, too.


Dave: "...Wait, you were complaining about the whitewashed casting... in your dream?"

Me: "...yes?"

Dave: "Okay, you only have yourself to blame for that."


WHITEWASHING, Y'ALL. EVEN OUR DREAMS ARE NOT SAFE.

I have come to the conclusion that although I am slightly more attracted to men than women, the range of what I find attractive in men is way, way narrower than what I find attractive in women. I mean, it's not like I'm attracted to all women or anything, but there's no one type of woman that does it for me. Of course I have an especial thing for the slender, hard bifauxnen type, but beyond that, thin women, thick women, tall, short, fair, dark, sultry, boyish, it just... doesn't really matter about specifics.

Sorry guys, I only like select specimens among you. :P


Incidentally, this morning I was having these crazy, vivid but disjointed dreamlets that were all sort of loosely linked together; they involved a lot of lesbian sex between several pairs of people and NAKED ERIC (from True Blood) and I just...

my subconscious is very confused okay

Sookie. Honey. You are crazy as a moonbat.

I'm gonna be honest here and say I kinda like the idea of Sookie/Eric (it is certainly more interesting than Sookie/Bill), but nevertheless, if she actually goes for something with him, SHE IS COMPLETELY FUCKED IN THE HEAD.

Aside from that. Eric. Goddamn he is hilarious. HEE-LAR-EE-US. I have such a thing for flamboyant assholes. First season he was kinda dull, but from the beginning of the second season on he like. Totally rocketed up to my second favorite slot? Idek. He and Pam make the best evil duo ever.




Also: Jesus. Jesus, I am very dubious of your sudden about face. How do you go from OMG YOU DEAL V? THAT SHIT RUINS LIVES :<<< to OMG I WANNA DO V WIT UUUUUU BB ♥♥♥ in such a short span of time? I am also dubious of Jesus's eerie habit of knowing things. If he turns out to be evil or dying in some freaky ritual because he's ~POWERFUL~ ala last season, I will not be pleased. :( (Otoh, I do appreciate this OMG Layfayette maybe has ~POWERS~ himself subplot.

Also, Jesus, I would appreciate it if you would develop a little more personality b/c seriously, the make outs with Lafayette are totally hot but all you've really got going for you personally is your ~spooky intuition~. I do however approve of your name (and the fact that Lafayette's mom calls you GEE-ZUS instead of HAY-SOOS), because I get to squeal GEE-ZUS IS A FAGGGGG in gleeful tones whenever you and Lafayette make out.

("I'll be damned. Maybe God loves fags." AHAHAHA THIS WOMAN.)

I would appreciate a little more AIDS-BURGER style bad-ass queening it up from Lafayette though, 'cause man is hilarious, and drama hasn't given him much time to do his thing lately. I mean, he's amazingly awesome under duress too and all, but a little variety?


OH AND HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE SOPHIE ANN

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LESBIAN VAMPIRE QUEEN WHO LIKES WATCHING DUDES DO IT

SHE IS SO META

I LOVE HER SO MUCH OMG

YAHTZEE! (NSFW, CONTAINS... YAHTZEE)

"Ugh, this alpha male posturing. You two should really just fuck each other and get it over with. I could watch. :3" OMG WOMAN MAKE LOVE TO ME

So. True Blood. Addictive, inn't? I'm halfway through the second season and I've only been watching it for the past three days. It's almost CLAMP-like in its ability to keep you watching to find out what absolutely ridiculously fucked-up thing is about to happen next. It's like a soap opera, only with vampires and crazy ass horror elements and an actual sense of humor and, you know, all the sordid freaky trainwreck crap people actually want from soap operas but can't get because of network tv. (And it is. A trainwreck, I mean.)

You know what this show's problem is? Bill and Sookie are the least interesting characters out of the entire cast. They are pretty much only interesting because of their hysterical normality. The show itself even seems to realize this. Why are they the main characters?

I wish Lafayette and Tara were the main characters. ;; They're awesome. And - okay, uh. Am I the only one who finds Lafayette ridiculously hot? I'm just sayin', okay. I am ready for him to have an actual love interest instead of just a string of dirty old man clients. I hear this actually happens in S3. AWESOME.

I wiki'd for who was playing him (Nelsan Ellis) b/c oh my god that man can act his ass off? And incidentally discovered that in the novels, Lafayette dies at the point that the first season ends. Why am I not surprised, ugh. Black AND gay? Jfc it's a miracle he didn't implode on the page. =_=;

Anyway, in closing, Lafayette will, in fact, make you eat the AIDS BURGER.

Tip yo waitress~