Hi! You may know me as woodburner. Or hey, you may not. Anyway, this is a mostly open journal - subscribe/unsubscribe at will, no need to ask permission. :)

Okay look, people. I can see how one might dislike Maria. I disliked her at first! She was amazingly obnoxious! ...True, over the course of the series (especially EP4) she managed to become one of my favorite characters in the series, but I think this is just proof that Umineko is kind of amazing.

But I digress! My point is, I can totally get you if you don't like Maria!

But all the flippant little comments I keep seeing about how awesome Rosa is for beating the shit out of her, or how you'd smack your kid around too if your kid was Maria? THAT SHIT IS SO NOT ON. >:|

i swear to christ do people even HEAR the shit that comes out of their mouths i can't even

deep breath

deep breath

okay.

On to less enraging subjects:

Book of Bantorra ep20: JFC BANTORRA WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME okay wait I'm not sure this is a less enraging subject at all. :((((((

I would say it was refreshing to see a series set out to disillusion all its naive, Pollyanna characters for once - I mean, these types always win! and it is so unrealistic! and here is a show for once acknowledging that hey, you can not turn the world into pretty pink bubblegum with the power of your will and love alone! - but the way it is playing out, NO.

Y U DO DIS. There better be some cop-out fix-it at the end of this series, srsly. Nolotyyyy. ;; You and Enrique were supposed to be BFF! Why did you tell him to believe in you if you were just going to go and get yourself offed. How are you supposed to teach him how to smile if you're dead. :((((

Okay let's move on to an ACTUALLY less enraging subject...

Durarara! I just watched the first 5 episodes all at once. It is incredibly bizarre! Def. one of the more unique shows I've ever seen. I... I think I really like it, although I am not sure wtf it is actually about.

So far we have:
- one (1) badass lady on a motorcycle with a conspicuous lack of a head (?!!)
- one (1) hilariously sociopathic information broker
- one (1) enormous black Russian sushi chef (...wait, what) possessed of a bad accent, inhuman strength, a friendly personality and apparent endless patience for the ridiculous way people run from him in the street (...oh, Japan), and...
- one (1) random superhuman dude with anger issues and a penchant for throwing vending machines.

In addition to these weirdos of mythical proportions (...literally, in at least one case) running around and tripping over each other in Ikebukuro, we also have three (3) normal high school kids, one (1) creepy back-alley doctor who rooms with the headless lady, one (1) secretive gang called the Dollars who everyone claims to be a part of but probably no one who claims to be actually is, and one (1) freaky unexplained horror-movie creature that runs around slashing people with a sword, and who freaked the headless lady right the fuck out, and I do not even know how to express how hilarious that was.

I may not have any idea what is going on, but it's all so terribly stylish and entertaining! And Mikado and Masaomi are so adorable! And there is a badass lady that runs around on a motorcycle kicking ass, AND SHE HAS NO HEAD.

Translated extra tip in which Battler is a megalomaniacal pervert who has no problems making highly inappropriate passes at his own aunts and anything else that has breasts! And in which Virgilia reveals herself as a BL fan (with rather weird tastes, if you ask me) and Ronove confirms that he does, in fact, want to get in Battler's pants! Spoilers for EP5 end/premise of EP6

Poor Battler. But you deserved it. Somebody better make sure to have a camcorder on hand for the "RonoBato".

This is quite possibly the greatest thing in the history of ever.




eta: OH MY GOD, Maria's character song is PURE GENIUS. (Warning: translator stuck a repeating image of Rosa smacking Maria at the end of this, but well, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, IT'S ROSA.)



I am going to be going "uu uu uu uu uu uu uu uu~" for HOURS.

What really happened in Turn of the Golden Witch?

While attending to the family conference late in the evening, Rosa came by the kitchen and mentioned to Gohda that there was going to be a Halloween party for Maria in the chapel the next day. Thinking this was a wonderful idea, Gohda decided to make some special treats for the occasion, but because he was distracted he accidentally reached for the box marked "Tiny Food Bombs" instead of the sugar. He gave some of the treats to Rosa, who took them to her siblings. They all went to the chapel to check out the party since they'd probably be too tired in the morning, when the tiny food bombs exploded and killed everyone but Rosa, who wasn't hungry.

Later, Gohda was hanging out and he heard Jessica having an asthma attack. Rushing upstairs, he found Kanon with her and reached for her inhaler, but as he swung it over to give it to her she tripped and he accidentally impaled her in the back with it. Kanon assumed he was trying to kill her and they struggled, and Gohda accidentally pushed Kanon out the window. Realizing he was going to get in so much trouble for this, he quietly locked the window, planted a stake in Jessica's wound, and walked off whistling.

While bored, Gohda decided to show off a new knife trick he learned to Nanjo and Kumasawa. Disaster occurred. Genji suggested they blame Kanon for it so nobody would find out, and dump the bodies somewhere.

Later in the evening, George and Shannon refused to believe Gohda's claim that he was capable of juggling three Stakes of Purgatory at the same time. Upset, Gohda offered to prove it to them in Natsuhi's room. Tragically, he was not as proficient as he thought he was.

Genji called Battler upstairs to tell him everything. Battler couldn't accept this ridiculous scenario, and declared that it was more likely that a witch did it.

Beatrice is the true culprit...

...behind Endless Eight!

She didn't want her show to have any competition this season, so what better way to do that than deal with the most likely threat to the show's popularity?

And there's no way it can be mere coincidence that she knew ahead of time to have Battler counter that with Endless Nine.

* It all makes sense now. I commend you.
* Photographic proof!◊
* Either this, or because Haruhi is the one who killed everybody.

god I love this fandom


ANYWAY does anyone know where to get the sprites for these games? I especially desire The Many Faces of BeatrollBeatrice.

I just have one thing to say about the spoilers I've been seeing for Umineko 6.







IDEK ANYMORE. I JUST. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM BEING TROLLED SO HARD jesus god my head hurts.

incidentally it would be the greatest thing ever if that face was actually in the game and just suddenly popped up as you were reading along, and by "greatest thing ever" I mean FUCKING JESUS SHITTING TIT BALLS I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN



you're welcome

I just finished playing Umineko 5. ...HOW COULD IT STOP THERE OGOD GIVE ME 6 NOW AUGGGGGHHHHHH BEATRICEEEEE ;____________;

- Re: Battler becoming the Endless Sorcerer, I had been spoiled for it but it was NO LESS AWESOME for me having been spoiled. SO EPIC. And then Ronove shows up and calls him "your majesty" and I am like, aw yeah, shit is 'bout to go DOWN.

- D-did I mention that I really like Ronove? Fandom, where is my Ronove/Battler/Beatrice sandwich? I know you are not going to make me do this myself, right?

- I like how this game made absolutely no sense and stopped before it actually EXPLAINED ANYTHING AT ALL, and by "like" I mean l;dakfj;alksdjf;l DAMNIT RYUUKISHI07. Congratulations, you managed to make all of the past games completely baffling given all this new information.

- Surprised (and rather pleased) to discover that my impression of Natsuhi as being not very bright was completely incorrect. I still can't really like her, but I no longer dislike her either, and this game managed to make her into an intelligent, three dimensional, and highly interesting person. And I loved she just took charge in the wake of her husband's massive fail, despite having given off the impression of being a flighty flibbertigibbet previously.

- And on that note, have I mentioned how great the women in this series are?

- Otoh, their apparent efforts at making me find Kinzo likable fail. He was often hilarious in this game, but seriously, it is not possible to like such a repulsively sexist jackass and I still cannot fathom Natsuhi's adoration of him. Actually, it's even more incomprehensible now. I mean seriously, how did that happen? How do you go from "This man has in essence kidnapped me and forced me to marry his son" to adoring the guy as a father figure? I mean, what?

- Also surprised to find out that my long-standing assumption that Lambda and Bern harbor repressed lesbian lust for each other was false.

...Because it's not exactly repressed.

Bern: I'll have to give you a full body massage later in a hot bath, with marshmallows and konpeito. ...Until your all your skin comes off.
Lambda: Oooh, I'll hold you to that promise. *slurp*

I swear to god, I am not making this up. Holy shit, those two are tripping balls. And all I've got to say is, Damn, Bern, where do you get off sneering at Beatrice's sexual tastes?

- Dlanor. Just. Dlanor. SHE'S AWESOME.

- This series? Is the the most meta-tastic story I have ever encountered. I mean, it's not like it wasn't already meta-tastic before, but... Dlanor fights with Knox's Decalogue, seriously? Seriously?

Also, upon looking that up, I notice that no one ever mentioned Knox's 5th in the game. "No Chinaman must figure into the story." W-what. No, really, what. I uh guess I can see why the game conveniently ignored that one.

- Am I the only one who's really worried Beatrice is going to turn out to be Battler's mom or something? At this point I can't help but think that we're supposed to wonder that, and if it doesn't turn out to be a red herring, then it's the most EPIC TROLLING EVER.

- Beatriceeeee. ;______; Battler, you better hurry up and revive her, or I shall be very put out. :<

eta: Oh! And does anyone know if those extra tips are translated anywhere? I need that Valentines Day/White Day thing. NEED.